Nobody consciously decides to be unhappy. But unconsciously there can be a different story playing out. 1. The staying power of low self-esteem. We might deep down have unconscious beliefs that we simply aren’t worthy of good things, or are flawed. Our thoughts can sound like: “but this might be the best I can do” “nobody else will ever love me so I should stay
“I shouldn’t be too picky” “I’m too old to be single”. Even “I can’t financially afford to leave this relationship” can be low self-esteem in disguise, showing a lack of belief in your own skills and creativity. In fact low self-worth can be
why we attract certain partners in the first place. We unconsciously advertise our low self-esteem, such as making jokes putting ourselves down, agreeing with everything someone says, jumping into bed with them too quickly, or having defeated body language.
These signals attract those who belittle and control others, or who want someone self-sacrificing to take care of them. 2. Addictive anxiety. By: Topher McCulloch It might sound illogical. Surely if a partner made you anxious, you’d leave?
Not necessarily. For starters, if you grew up in a home environment that left you anxious, with unstable parents, this might be what feels normal or even like ‘home’ and ‘love’ to you.
