What is it like to see a girl before marriage?

By | April 15, 2020

I got married this year via arranged marriage and feel qualified to answer the question. A bit of our background :

I am a mid level Engineering professional earning a salary of around 55k in Bangalore. No liabilities to start with, all of my 4 sisters are married and have a house in my native place Bhagalpur where my mom lives alone.

The girl being an IT proffessional working with an Indian MNC living and at working at Mumbai. We both belong to typical yet somewhat liberal Muslim families.

One of my sis who lives in Dubai had a good friendship with aunt of my (now)wife. So she set-up this match. I had made it clear to my family that without call and meeting in person,

I won’t be able to make a choice. Now in India, among Muslims, it is still very difficult to have face to face personal meetings in an arranged marriage before some comittment/confirmation. But the girl’s side agreed to let us talk over phone first and if things turn out well, we can further meet and decide.

The call : After customary hies/hellos, I moved to important questions :

Q1. Are you mentally and emotionally ready for the marriage?

Answer : Yes.

Q2. Do you willingly want to get married or is it forced upon you by your family? If its forced, you can send me a private text later and I will takecare of this without causing you any trouble.

Answer : Yes, I know what I am getting into. And its my wish that’s why my family has approached you.

Q3. Is there anyone else in your life right now with whom you seek romantic intimacy?

Answer : No.

Q4. What do look in a person in general?

Answer : Generic stuff, not too specific. Non-smoker and non-drinker was one thing I remember.

Q5. What do you look in a person who will be your partner?

Answer : Same as what I have said before. Yeah one more thing, I want to work after marriage. So I want someone who will accept me with that.