I’ve often said that parenting is the best guide to leadership. In preparation for my oldest son leaving for college, I decided to sit down and write a few words of parental wisdom. In sharing the letter with a few close friends, a few of whom are business leaders,
I was struck by the consistency of their feedback — namely, how relevant they found this to be to their own lives. So I thought I would offer this letter below as a guide to being a more effective leader and to living a fulfilling life more generally. This letter is the inspiration for my recently-released book “Master Your Code: The Art, Wisdom, and Science of Leading an Extraordinary Life.”
Dear Jack,
I have so much to say, and yet a big part of me knows that you must discover your own way. Much like I did. With little guidance, other than my soul yearning to fulfill itself through an examination of what it means to be an authentic man and to live my life to its fullest. To the extent that this letter can serve to plant a few seeds in the soil of your fertile mind,
then I am grateful to have the opportunity to share with you what I consider to be wisdom. Your job, of course, is to water those seeds through the many twists and turns on the amazing road ahead of you. I am so happy for you and excited for what lays ahead.
1. Cultivate a capacity for awareness
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Victor Frankl
This quote is from Victor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning. He discovered as a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp that the one freedom the guards could not take from him was his ability to choose his attitude regardless of circumstances.
One of the most powerful capacities is the understanding of self — knowing when something is driving you, and having the presence to pause, reflect, and choose. This shift from automaticity to choice may be the most important area of growth for any young man.
