Enraged by the fact that women are living beings who have a right to their likes and dislikes and the basic human right to do what they want, some mullahs have graciously sought to ‘correct’ these sinful creatures’ ways and lead them onto a better, more pious path. Here are some of the crazy ‘Fatwas‘ that have been passed by scholars!
1. Stop Reading Romantic Novels
Being transported in a fantasy world is not ‘Halal’ and so the trend must end. Though I agree, they do seem to have a point sometimes *cough cough* Fifty Shades of Grey *cough cough*.
2. Stop Watching Football
They know. They know we only watch it so we can stare at the footballers’ thighs. Or for the times Ronaldo goes shirtless. We must stop now.
3. Stop Eating Bananas, Cucumbers and Carrots
Any phallic shaped fruits that might ‘turn us on’ and cause us to lose control and forget our limits…
4. Stop Cooking
Because we don’t know how to, right? So let’s just stop altogether. Let’s see them do a better job at it. While we’re at it, maybe even stop posting your edible disasters on social media and spamming all those people who don’t really care?
5. Stop Wearing Western Clothes
You wouldn’t want to be provocative now, would you? You are public property. You must stay hidden. Jeans are more provocative than those skin colored tights.
