(On a parallel earth)
“Nulfo Beddenburger’s fame as a world-class body builder had gotten greater as his role as the “Eliminator”- a cyborg covered by human flesh out to kill a human leader who fights the cyborgs that take over the world,” Jerry Clowner told his audience on his “Night Time” show. “So, give a hand for actor Nulfo Beddenburger – the Eliminator!”
The audience cheered as the huge 7-foot-tall Swedish actor bound out on stage. Jerry got up from his chair and applauded him. Satisfied with the reaction, the big star walked to the guest seat next to Jerry’s desk, looked down at him and greeted him with a crushing handshake.
“Oww! Woe there, big fella!” the host yelped and pretended that his hand was crushed in agony for special effects by Nulfo’s huge right hand. The audience clapped again as their big guy sat down.
“How are ya?” he said in a loud voice to the audience. They shouted, “Nulfo! Nulfo!… Nulfo!” But he calmed them down by slowly lowering his hands, in a gradual flapping motion until his fans whispered, “Nulfo, Nulfo, Nulfo… “
Gradually, Clowner asked, “So Big Guy! How does it feel to finish 24 movies as the ‘Eliminator’?”
Nulfo pulled out a big Cuban cigar and lit it. After puffing on his Cuban for a few seconds, he replied, “It feels like my first movie’s plot – trying to save the world as an android with human skin surrounding the metal skeleton.”
Clowner cut in right after Nulfo blew smoke into his face. Clowner coughed but wasn’t offended. “So, does everything seem different since your first movie?”
“It seems the plot never ends but the villains keep get bigger in size. At first, I was fighting an evil ventriloquist’s doll with superhuman strength. I think his name was the ‘Puppeteer’.” Now, in this upcoming movie which will be my last, I’m fighting a 100- foot Tyrannosaurus Rex with a 500 IQ.”
The crowd reacted to the news of his sudden retirement with a great collective, “Awwwww!”
Clowner asked, “So, how has it felt to be playing an android with superhuman strength wearing a human suit?”
Nulfo laughed and asked sarcastically, “Well, how would you feel?”
“I’m asking you… How does it feel pretending to be an android with human skin?”
Nulfo pretended to laugh and then asked, “You know..It’s Hollywood!”
Clowner asked “How do you pretend to be human?”
Nulfo laughed again and asked, “Really… What kind of planet do you live on, Clowner?”
“One with no androids.”
Nulfo’s head began to twitch twice. “But I’m n..not an android. I.III’m an actor from Sweden.”
“Come on Nulfo. We saw your video where you proposed to that new hot AI robot, Sophia.”
“Well, I..I wanted ttttoo be the first… to get in liiine with her.”
Clowner asked, “How do you keep that old metal body in shape?”
“Come on! I’m jj just aaaaa—nnn actoor!”
“I believe you really are the Eliminator, not some human.”
The star’s arm began to twitch. Then he smashed it down on his desk, which crashed his desk halfway down to the floor. Then he got up from his seat. He took his hand and grabbed the host’s throat.
Most of the audience gasped when Nulfo-Eliminator said in a monotone voice, “My mission is to eliminate Jerry Clowner!”
The host panicked as he was raised from the seat of his desk and picked up off the ground by the Eliminator’s hand around his neck. The audience thought this was just a stunt and applauded.
Security guards ran out and firmly told the android to let him go or they would fire. Clowner yelled, “Do it! Do it!”
The guards shot Nulfo-Eliminator’s back, but his dorsal skin just absorbed the bullets.
Clowner reached into his pocket and drew out a 500,000-volt taser which he rammed into Nulfo-Eliminator’s mouth. Within twenty seconds, the eliminator let go of the host and fell back through the stage floor.
Clowner tried to walk while he wiped the beads of sweat running down his face with a handkerchief. Then, he told the audience, “OK, everybody! Let’s all remain calm and, ‘if you want to live’ leave this studio immediately, because he’ll ‘be back!'”
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