Parents don’t usually start out wanting to make mistakes. Too often though, they only rely on their parenting instincts and don’t try to get help with common parenting issues and problems. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t instinctively able to know what to do in each and every situation that we face as parents, and we can all make mistakes from time to time.
Learning to overcome these 7 common parenting mistakes will get you a long way towards being a more effective parent.
1) Not Trying to Fix Problems
Either because they think that certain problems can’t be fixed or they simply are quick to accept them, many parents endure months or years of frustration living with common problems. This might include bedtime battles, frequent night awakenings, or frequent temper tantrums and behavior problems in older children.
Although it may take some hard work, most problems that you face as a parent can be worked through and changed or fixed.
You may need some help though. Your baby may not have come with instructions, but there are plenty of books, websites, and people, that can help guide you through the challenges of parenting. Your pediatrician and other health professionals can also be helpful when facing more difficult or persistent problems.
2) Overestimating or Underestimating Problems
Before you try to fix problems, you have to first decide what is and isn’t a problem. And if it is a problem, how big of a problem are you facing.
Is it a big problem if your:
- Preschooler has occasional tantrums?
- 5- or 6-year-old is ‘caught’ playing doctor?
- Teen begins to test limits, spends more time away from family, or tries to be more independent?
In general, the answer in all three situations is no. These are simple age-appropriate issues that should be expected. On the other hand, you shouldn’t take lightly a problem like a teen caught smoking, stealing, or cheating.
3) Having Unrealistic Expectations
If you have unrealistic expectations of what your kids should be doing, you can actually create problems. This often happens when parents get frustrated or impatient with a 2 1/2-year-old who still isn’t interested in potty training, a 6-year-old who is wetting the bed, or a moody teenager.
Make sure that your expectations match what your kids are developmentally able or expected to be doing.
