Someone you know is sick, and you aren’t sure how to approach the subject. Should you wait for them to bring it up? Avoid it altogether so you don’t make them uncomfortable? What if you accidentally say the wrong thing and damage your relationship in a moment of crisis?
Questions like these are important. They’re a sign that you care. While no one has all the answers, there are some guidelines, borne out of experience and supported by research, that may help you be present for someone who matters to you.
Here are some things to keep in mind when you want to comfort and encourage someone who’s sick.
You’re speaking with a person, not a condition
A serious illness can take up a lot of space in a person’s life, whether a full recovery is just a few days away or the condition is chronic. For that reason, it’s especially important to be sensitive to whether someone wants to talk about sickness or something else entirely.
As Chaplain Resident at Mayo Clinic, Natasha Dachos, LMSW, is often in conversation with people coping with illness.“The most important thing to remember,
”she says, “is that this is a whole person in front of you. Whether they are a mother, a father, a child, a teacher, a person who likes to run — they are a whole person, with all the complexities that go with it.”
