Who hasn’t been on the receiving end of a bad apology?
- “Sorry, geez. I didn’t know it was going to be such a big deal.”
- “I’m sorry, but you really shouldn’t be so sensitive.”
- “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I was just messing around.”
- “I’m sorry that happened, but, you know, it really wasn’t my fault.”
More than likely, you’ve probably made a subpar apology yourself a time or two.
That’s absolutely normal. Apologizing can be tough, even when you genuinely regret making a mistake or causing someone pain.
Admitting a wrongdoing generally isn’t easy — especially when doing so means acknowledging that you hurt someone you care about.
You want to make amends, but you might feel unsure about how. You might also worry about saying the wrong thing and making matters worse.
Here’s the good news: Learning to make a sincere apology isn’t as difficult as it might sound, and we’re here to guide you through the process. The 8 tips below will help you craft a natural, heartfelt apology to anyone in your life.
1. Understand why you’re apologizing
To make a good apology, you’ll want to first have a good understanding of where you went wrong.
Regret is a key element of effective apologies, but you’ll probably find it difficult to express sincere regret when you don’t know what you regret doing.
“I’m sorry for whatever I did wrong,” and similarly generic apologies usually fall pretty flat — but they can also lead to more conflict.
Here’s an example:
Your roommate seems irritated, but you aren’t sure why they’d be mad. After giving it some thought, you notice a large box in the doorway and suddenly remember you promised to help rearrange their bedroom furniture to make room for a new bookshelf. You immediately go to their room to apologize.
“I just realized I forgot about helping you move your furniture. I’m so sorry. Work has been a little overwhelming lately, and it completely slipped my mind. I know you wanted to get that done as soon as possible. Can I help you with it right now?”
Not sure exactly how you messed up? It happens, especially when you don’t know someone all that well. It’s OK to ask how you gave offense. Just know that some ways of asking are better than others.
