I got married because experiencing life alone was never something I imagined or wanted; I was what you might call a commitment whore. The dream was to share my every win, loss, joy, love and pain with someone kind enough to hold my hand through it. And I was ready to hold his in return.
For everyone who asks me how marriage has been, and for the ones who will ask me, here’s what I think. I am not a marriage expert, I’m but a newlywed. This is what I’ve learned over the past two years of my relationship:
There are three kinds of changes that the marriage conversation brings. The first is that your relationship dynamics should change. Wrong. Being married has not been any different from being in a relationship for us (especially since we lived together). It’s actually just a legal relationship, and so the dynamics are pretty much the same. Same outings, romance, etc. Marriage does not automatically make things better or worse. It’s the intention of it — of committing to another person.
The second type of change is habitual. When people say this—“what doesn’t change when you’re dating won’t change when you’re married”—has been 100% true for us. When dating my partner I wondered why he was such a workaholic and thought marriage would be different. Been married a minute — he’s still a workaholic.
The last change is behavioural. I was the cutest, most easy-going thing as a girlfriend, but life happened to me and now some people might call me the Grinch. Situations and habit might not change, but people do. Your partner could be so into something one day and by the next, they’re completely different
