It’s much easier to share your thoughts, the intellectual information that is in your brain, than your feelings. Sharing the depth of your feelings that are in your heart takes emotional risk and courage. This makes you feel exposed and vulnerable, but, it is the very thing that will create closeness and connection in your marriage. By sharing what is in your heart with your spouse, you can achieve deeper intimacy.
Recognize the difference between thoughts and emotional feelings. Thinking,also known as “cognition” is a process that occurs in our heads. It coveys what our thoughts and beliefs about something. Feelings,
on the other hand, convey our emotional state and is often said to come from the heart. Feelings can also be physical sensations.Use the ‘I think vs. I feel’ rule. If you can substitute the words
‘I think’ for ‘I feel’ in a sentence, then you have expressed thought and not a feeling. For example, “I feel hurt” is correct because you would not say “I think hurt,’ right? Someone might say, “I feel that he is a jerk” is incorrect. You “think” he is a jerk.
