Attending a funeral can raise many questions about the right way to behave and the different funeral etiquette practices that exist. In this guide, we look at some of the most common questions surrounding funeral attendance, including when to send flowers, where to sit and what to say.
Here are our 15 tips for attending a funeral
1: Who should attend
As a general rule, everyone is welcome at a funeral and you don’t need to wait for an invitation. This includes those who didn’t know the deceased but would like to offer their support to the family or another guest. Witnessing a big turnout at a funeral is often a great source of comfort to the bereaved family.
Some families choose to hold a private funeral service, in which case this will be invite-only. Covid-19 restrictions also mean that there are current limitations to the numbers of people who can attend a funeral. A close friend or family member of the deceased should be able to advise you on whether you are able to attend.
2: Children
Children are very welcome at funerals unless specifically requested by the bereaved family. If your child is older then it is important to ask them whether they would like to attend. It can be useful to talk to them about what will happen at the funeral and how they might feel.
Younger children and babies may find it challenging to sit quietly for the funeral service, so take in to consideration the relationship your child had with the deceased, their understanding of the funeral, and how the immediate family will feel if your child becomes fussy.
It may not be possible to leave a newborn or breastfed baby at home. In this instance you could sit near an exit and step outside of your baby becomes unsettled. Alternatively, you could invite someone along with the sole aim of taking care of your baby during the service.
3: Attending funerals of different faiths
If you are attending the religious funeral of someone whose beliefs don’t echo your own, there is no pressure for you to take part in any religious practices that you aren’t familiar or comfortable with. A funeral is about paying your respects to the deceased and this can be done simply by listening to the service and being respectful to the other mourners.
