Tearful, tantrum-filled goodbyes are common during a child’s earliest years. Around the first birthday, many kids develop separation anxiety, getting upset when a parent tries to leave them with someone else.
Though separation anxiety is a perfectly normal part of childhood development, it can be unsettling.
Understanding what your child is going through and having a few coping strategies ready can help both of you get through it.
About Separation Anxiety
Babies adapt pretty well to other caregivers. Parents probably feel more anxiety about being separated than infants do! As long as their needs are being met, most babies younger than 6 months adjust easily to other people.
Between 4-7 months of age, babies develop a sense of “object permanence.” They’re realizing that things and people exist even when they’re out of sight. Babies learn that when they can’t see mom or dad, that means they’ve gone away.
They don’t understand the concept of time, so they don’t know mom will come back, and can become upset by her absence. Whether mom is in the kitchen, in the next bedroom, or at the office, it’s all the same to the baby, who might cry until mom is nearby again.
Kids between 8 months and 1 year old are growing into more independent toddlers, yet are even more uncertain about being separated from a parent. This is when separation anxiety develops, and children may become agitated and upset when a parent tries to leave.
