Besides maybe period and who the best “Friends” character is, no subject is as hotly debated as whether or not flirting counts as cheating.
That’s because every relationship has different rules, so there’s no one-size-fits-all definition of cheating, says mental health professional Jor-El Caraballo M.Ed, a relationship expert and co-creator of Viva Wellness.
“Cheating is any behavior that a person takes that crosses and betrays a boundary of that specific relationship,” he says. For some folks that includes flirting, for some it doesn’t.
The swoony eyes and sustained eye contact. The arm graze and the body swivel. The knowing laugh and suggestive smirk. Most of us know a flirt when we see one (or are the one initiating).
What’s important to understand, according to Dr. Seth Meyers, licensed clinical psychologist and resident relationship expert for eharmony, is that not all flirts are created equal.
“They don’t all share the same motivation and emotional response to that flirting,” he says. Meaning, some flirt with the intention of more happening. Others do it just for fun, or as a form of self-expression.
It’s also important to understand what flirting isn’t.
Being nice to someone, giving someone else a compliment, or teasing them isn’t necessarily flirting.
