Generally speaking, the objective of relationship advice is to minimize friction between romantic partners. We all want our relationships to run smoothly, and most couples would agree that it’s not great to drive each other nuts.
There’s no doubt that the ability to manage conflict—even low-level conflict—is an essential relationship skill. But I’d argue that there are times when it’s fine—even good!—for partners to annoy each other. In
other words, is it ever wise to welcome a little frustration in your relationship? I’d say yes.
Let’s look at the primary reasons why a little irritation in a relationship is actually a good thing.
1. Annoying behavior is a sign of being comfortable with each other.
When you first start dating someone, it’s common to be on your absolute best behavior—especially if you really like the other person. You’ll refrain from certain behaviors you may enjoy, like getting up at noon on weekends or eating a bag of Doritos for dinner. But eventually, the real you is bound to come out… and start exasperating your partner.
In some ways, annoying one another is a sign that you’re in a “real” relationship.
