As a wedding photographer, I see the time, energy, and money invested into a wedding. Yes, it truly can be the happiest day of your life, but what about the “from this day forward” part? How much effort is invested into the marriage itself? It’s easy to slip into a relationship where you just co-exist. What about living in a marriage where you are thriving and having fun together?
We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary and I’ve taken some time to look back at the nuggets of wisdom I’ve gained. Here are some things that I wish I understood going in:
1. Respect. Thank him for the work he does each day. Trust his decisions. He has been driving for years just fine before you were in the picture and your “tips” are not actually that helpful. What he is probably hearing from you is that he’s not a good driver and you don’t trust him. Always speak positively of your spouse in public.
2. Watch your tongue. Make your home a safe place where he wants to be and where he can be himself. Over time, he may become more comfortable sharing his insecurities and these are things that you should never use to hurt him.
3. Realize that he’s not your girlfriend. I love saying “Guess how much I paid for this!” or “What do you think of this dress?” My husband is not into that game and won’t share that excitement. He isn’t sure how to answer the question about the dress other than saying
“It looks great.” You can let him know what you’d like to hear but I wouldn’t count on him gushing like a girlfriend might. Also, he will usually try to solve a problem when all you want is to be heard with a sympathetic ear.
