Samina’s testimony was first published on Bedari’s website.
I am Samina, and I am 26 now, and married for last 13 years. Here is my story:
We used to live in a village near Multan city. We were 9 sisters, and no brother. My parents wanted to have a son, so they kept trying, and continued to add unwanted daughters to the family. My father worked on daily wages, which were not regular and not sufficient to meet our basic needs. Still I was going to the village school. I had a passion for studies, and wanted to join the army – a rare dream for a girl.
In poor households, daughters’ dreams do not matter. They don’t earn, and are not expected to earn in the future as well, so they are a burden. The easiest way to get rid of this burden is to marry them off – an old man’s burden is shifted to a young man’s shoulders. Girl remains a burden nevertheless.
[Girls] don’t earn, and are not expected to earn in the future. The easiest way to get rid of this burden is to marry them off – an old man’s burden is shifted to a young man’s shoulders.
This is what happened in my case. My dreams were shattered, I left my books and shattered dreams behind, and moved to my husband’s house. My husband, 20 years old, was not ready to take up the burden my father had transferred to him. He simply refused to take up the responsibilities of a married life. So I had to step in and shoulder his responsibilities as well as mine.
I left my books and shattered dreams behind, and moved to my husband’s house.
I would wake up early in the morning, and go to work in the fields of a wealthy landlord. He would pay me peanuts for 10 to 12 hours of work. I would get back home with some food, and get down to household chores. After feeding my husband in the evening, I had to gratify his sexual needs at night. This never-ending cycle would go on and on.
The sexual intercourse was unbearably painful. I did not understand it, but I had no way to escape it. Time flies. I do not know how four years passed, and I got four children – more mouths to feed, more expenses, more responsibilities – life became more and more intolerable.
