If you’re a chronic worrier, the vast majority of your anxious thoughts probably fall in this camp. Worrying is often a way we try to predict what the future has in store—a way to prevent unpleasant surprises and control the outcome. The problem is, it doesn’t work.
Thinking about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable. You may feel safer when you’re worrying, but it’s just an illusion. Focusing on worst-case scenarios will only keep you from enjoying the good things you have in the present. To stop worrying, you need to learn how to embrace the uncertainty that we all face in life.
[Read: Dealing with Uncertainty]
Tackle your need for immediate answers. Do you tend to predict bad things will happen just because they are uncertain? What is the likelihood they will? Given the likelihood is very low, is it possible to live with the small chance that something negative may happen?
Discover how others cope with uncertainty. Ask your friends and family how they cope with uncertainty in specific situations. Could you do the same? For example, if you’re worried about your child taking the bus to school, asking a neighbor how they deal with the uncertainty could help you feel less anxious.
Tune into your emotions. Worrying about uncertainty is often a way to avoid unpleasant emotions. But you can’t worry your emotions away. While you’re worrying, your feelings are temporarily suppressed, but as soon as you stop, they bounce back. And then, you start worrying about your feelings: “What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t feel this way!”
By using HelpGuide’s free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit, you can tune into your emotions and start to accept your feelings, even those that are uncomfortable or don’t make sense.
