Yet we do not have to listen to The Persuaders’ soulful vocals to know that love and hate can coexist. If you’ve ever loved, you know that you can hate a person you love. But how is that possible?
The most obvious scenario in which you hate and love a person at the same time is one in which your love is not reciprocated. If you think you are basically a lovable person, it can be hard to comprehend that someone you love might not love you
If you lack confidence already, this will be a further blow to your self-esteem. If you have some self-worth, you may temporarily be fooled into thinking that the lack of reciprocation of your love reveals a fundamental flaw in the other person.
if you direct your negative feelings at the person because of this “flaw” in his or her personality, you are bound to hate him or her (at least a little).
It is easy enough to see how love and hate can coexist in cases of unreciprocated love. But you can hate a person you love even when your love is reciprocated, and even when you have an overall thriving relationship with them. This is one of the things that is paradoxical about love and love relationships — whether romantic or not.
