It’s common for children to have some problems at school.
Some problems are minor – for example, missing out on school council or forgetting to bring the right sports uniform. You and your child can usually sort these ones out yourselves by talking and problem-solving together.
Some problems might be more complicated or long-lasting. For example, your child might be having ongoing difficulties in the playground with another child and the strategies you’ve suggested to your child haven’t worked. With these problems, you might need to talk with your child’s teacher to find solutions.
How to approach school problems with teachers
When you need to talk with teachers about problems, a calm and positive approach is likely to get a positive outcome for your child. Here’s what to do.
Pause to calm down
If something has just happened to upset your child, this can upset you too. Try to take some time to calm down before you do anything. This will help you avoid doing something you might regret later, like sending an angry email.
You could say, ‘I see you’re very upset about this, and I’m upset too. We need to calm down so we can think about what to do’. Saying this will help your child to learn this strategy too.
Be a positive role model
Even with a serious problem, you can model positive problem-solving for your child by being positive, thinking about solutions, and talking about working with the teacher. This is better than complaining or being aggressive.
You could say something like, ‘Let’s ask Mr Smith if he has any ideas about how we can sort out this problem’. This kind of approach shows your child that you value the teacher’s opinion.
