Baseball Hall of Famer Joe Sewell used only 1 bat in his 14-year career and struck out only 114 times in 7,132 attempts. He never was convinced that a newer, more sophisticated bat would improve his play. When he was in a slump, rather than blaming his equipment, he took extra batting practice and focused on his swinging mechanics. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if more people had that same philosophy towards marriage?
When things go sour, rather than looking to get a new replacement right away, we instead would focus on what we can control – how we can improve our relational mechanics.
How can we be more patient towards our wife? More thoughtful? More loving? You can’t control your wife’s actions, but work on you and trust the rest will take care of itself. Here are 10 tips for becoming a better husband.
Plan for it, write down what you’re going to do, then check the deed off once it’s done. Odds are, being deliberate in this way will lead naturally to more.
Money surprises are never good, so stay a few steps ahead and include your wife in an ongoing conversation about the budget. This does not mean monitoring her spending. It does mean that you don’t keep secrets, you value her input, and you make important decisions as a team.
– Do you know her favorite band?
– What books did she read last year/is she reading now?
-Where would she like to go if you had a three-day weekend?
– What restaurant she’s been dying to visit?
– Ask good questions, and then listen.
Don’t assume she knows. Even if she does know, hearing it from you will spark the fire. Before long you’ll realize that you love her more. Here are some tips:
– Slip a card or love note into her purse at the beginning of the day.
– Figure out obscure anniversaries (first date, engagement day, the day we moved into our first house, etc.) and then make a big deal of celebrating together.
– Leave loving answering machine messages when you know she’s not going to be there.
– Make the bed and put a single rose on her pillow.
– Run a bubble bath for her and keep the house interruption-free while she enjoys it.
– Color a gaudy sign and put it on the windshield of her car.
